Tu Maaro, I Never Die
==================
Plot summary:
Palat Kumar aka Piltu (played by Akshay Kumar) is born in a poor family in rural part of UP, and whose father Galat Kumar aka Giltu (played by Anupam kher) is a local thief. Nonetheless, Palat Kumar aka Piltu is very adventurous and as he grows up, puts up a 'roadie' sort of personality doing all sort of odd jobs , sometimes illegal, to earn his livelihood. Nevertheless, he is able, charismatic, good looking and is daring.
One fine morning, Piltu, with his like minded roadie gang, steals a flamboyant purse from a lady but upon a flash of her beautiful face, falls in love with her, at the first sight. As he was masked while stealing, he could come back to her, return her vanity purse saying he physically fought with the gang which apparently had stolen her purse to bring it back. The lady Alisha (played by Katrina Kaif) too falls for him after a couple of similar premeditated confrontations.
When he is silently but noisily living up here in UP, a strange and mostly first of it's kind thing happens in the international cinema world. The then acting Bond character Daniel Craig retires and a hunt for the next Bond begins. The 007 committee decides to pick the Bond through the course of an arduous competition whose participants have to go through a series of stages which include action games, real life adventure, being-smart tests, daring scenarios and so forth. Piltu, funded by Alisha too enters the competition along with a hoard of other participants from all over the world. Piltu and Dhamaal Dinesh (played by Sonu Sood) are the only two Indians who clear the auditions and enter the main competition. Dhamaal Dinesh would lose matches and adventure tests every time against a slightly cunning, nonetheless powerful, Australian participants, who even portray their anti-Indian attitude here. This continued humiliation develops in him a hatred towards the entire Bond crew and the competition holders, not just the ones who cheated him. Piltu, on the other hand, surpasses everyone's expectations (including his own and of film's producers) and based upon the points collected at various stages of the prolonged series, he emerges out as the clear winner of the competition.
But the jury denies to make him the next Bond citing that he is not white, as described in the Bond novels and selects Alex Charter (played by Ben Affleck, a guest appearance) as the Bond, who was just 3 points behind Piltu in the competition. An emotionally hurt Piltu returns to India only to get mocked by his villagers who do not know the reason for his rejection, which he too refrains from telling them all. However Alisha consoles him and believes he can be no less than Bond.
Meanwhile, as part of the movie shooting, Bond team comes to India having planned to do a considerable share of the movie in Lakshadweep islands. Dhamaal Dinesh sees this as an opportunity and hatches a plot to carry out multiple bomb blasts at the site of the shooting as a revenge towards his bitter experience at the competition. Meanwhile even Piltu wishes to have a look at the gigantic sets , actions at the place and travels to the shooting spot along with Alisha. There he accidentally, but intelligently unfurls Dhamaal Dinesh's plot of killing the Bond crew members and then portraying some of the real adventurous action thrills, Piltu detonates various bombs with just minutes to explode, as well fights with Dhamaal's henchmen thus saving the entire Bond team.
Taking into account his service against the anti-social and extra ordinary adventurous skills, committee offers him, finally the Bond role in their next production " Not Just Khiladi, He's Bond ".
Cast
Akshay Kumar as Palat Kumar aka Piltu
Katrina Kaif as Alisha
Anupam Kher as Galat Kumar
Sonu Sood as Dhamaal Dhinesh
Ben Affleck as Alex Charter
Sudhanshu Pandey as Gulmarg
Yashpal Sharma as Janaab Jalandhar
Lady Gaga as herself